Stretch here. Humming songs by Various Productions, does that mean I’m ultra cool or stupid. Listening to their Versus album. Starts off with a remix of a Sugababes song, but unfortunately it still feels like a Sugababes tune, so nothing really has changed. Not happy, VP have now lost their ultra-coolness. Didn’t expect it, but I suppose all these things eventually happen. It’s life telling you that nothing is perfect and that all you can really expect from a happy life is gout and a head full of tablets. I remember, back in the day, when music wouldn’t disappoint you, you stared up at the spinning mobile and said to yourself, “y’know, that song ain’t bad.” As you grow older and experience more and more music, more and more hard disk space is taken up with music that you love and hate at the same time. You sometimes wish you were like those people who think that a Keane gig is the best, oh the best thing they’ve EVER experienced. I’m not like that. Never have been, never will. The torture continues. I’m Stretch MacGibbon and I’m going to explain to you exactly what is wrong with you, and believe me when I say I’m excited already. Oh yeah!