Stretch’s Scary Halloween Song No.4: CSI:Judas Priest – Night Crawler

Stretch hath re tuned and returned!!!

The music in Judas Priest’s song “Night Crawler” isn’t particularly scary.  I’ve always found some of their music just plain stupid.  The lyrics though, Jesus!

“Howling winds keep screaming round, And the rain comes pouring down. Doors are locked and bolted now
As the thing crawls into town”

Okay, not creeped out yet. Something’s coming to town. Another Irish summer, something wicked this way comes. Thunder rolls into the tune. It crawls into town, why? Why would it crawl?

“Straight out of hell. One of a kind. Stalking his victim. Don’t look behind you, now.

It comes from Hell, yeah right, fuck you and your heavy metal bullshit. It’s an individual, right we know this now. Who’s the victim, me, the citizens of Dade County? Hmmm. Okay, now I can’t look behind me and when I can’t look behind me (take sunglasses off)..murder gets off….scot free….scot free!!

“Nightcrawler, Beware the beast in black. Nightcrawler. You know he’s coming back Night crawler”

Put out an APB, we are dealing with an individual wearing dark or even darker clothing, possibly an amputee or roller-man. (move sideways away from whoever you are with please). His MO appears to be that it likes to return to the scene of the crime…hmmm. Well! I’ll be waiting, oh yes, i”ll be waiting, it can count on that.

“Sanctuary is being sought. Whispered prayers a last resort. Homing in its cry distorts. Terror struck they know they’re caught”

Stretch knows nothing of this particular peculiar vernacular.

“Straight out of hell. One of a kind. Stalking his victim. Don’t look behind you, now. Nightcrawler, Beware the beast in black. Nightcrawler. You know he’s coming back Night crawler”

Okay, people, settle down. I believed we already covered this. Kowalski, please try and make it on time next time. Sheesh kebabs (it’s nearly lunchtime, woohoo)

“As night is falling. The end is drawing near. They’ll hear. Their last rites echo on the wind”

We have to solve this as my shift is nearly at an end. At an end. My friend. We are not dealing with deaf victims, do you hear, no deaf victims. C’mon people. Let’s go. And People, be careful out there for God’s sake.

“Huddled in the cellar. Fear caught in their eyes. Daring not to move or breathe. As the creature cries. Fingernails start scratching. On the outside wall. Clawing at the windows. Come to me it calls. Atmosphere’s electric. As it now descend the stairs”

(Scary House: Nighttime): Police cars screech up to dark scary house.

The un-deaf owners have holed up downstairs. You two, round the back. keep out of mischief. I’m going through the front. We should catch up with this miscreant before it’s too late….tick…tick. Wear rubber boots, be careful of live sockets. It is taunting its victims. (Sunglasses thrown away). Head for the stairs

“Hiding in the darkness. Is so futile from its glare. Death comes in an instant. As they hoped it would. Souls ascend to heaven. While it feasts on flesh and blood”

We have caught the criminal. However, it appears to be alone. The potential victims appeared, well, they appear to have disappeared. Well we can’t arrest it now. Off you go woof woof. Bad woof woof, bad woof woof. Oh you’re such a good boy really. Good boy. Ooh ooh, get off me boy. Boys, assign this mutt to the castration clinic.

This all begs the question. Why oh why oh oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why did Judas Priest go to trial for “Better By You, Better than me.” Realistically any court of law must have took time out to read their other lyrics.  Anyway, Nightcrawler  just goes to show you what can happen when a hound of hell is released into the public. Mayhem, Mary, utter Mayhem.

Everybody “Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!”

I did not mean anything by that, RIGHT?

Check out this clip. Rob sounds like he might have been attacked by a helium balloon.  Also read the comments. Ah (Stretch wipes tear from eye) people are just so fun!

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