These roots manuva me

Stretch and hold.

Hippity hophop and the dub sounds of Roots Manuva’s Slime and Reason makes me reall happy y’all…the rapppity raprap of the bangbang and the rhythmic bouncy bouncy of my receptive heady head head and burnty ears is like slinging my brainworkers into overdrive rights now – sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeebbaaaaaaaaaa.

I really like when this stuff is done properly.  Roots has always been steady and true. The rap community, especially the superstars of Hippityhophop, should listen to this guy and Beans and anybody who does it different yasee.

I’m so sick of turning on the TV and yet another coiffured presenter tells everybody about this JayZeeeeeeeee or that SnoopyDoggy.  There stuff is so weak. These big tough guys rapping about the streets man. They should be rapping about filling in VAT returns or paying for STD creams and vaseline or why the poolboy’s scratching himself or how come all their money is being sucked away not by the ladies or the big bags of confidence booster, but by constantly having to refill the monster truck everytime they go down the shopsyshops or why they can’t get their whites white or why there’s always a goddang party on even when they have a headache and just want to go to bed to read a book or they never get time to watch all the stuff they have on TIVO or how mispelling a rapper’s name on a birthday card can get you a cap in yer ass etc.

Their warfare should not be with other rappers, it should be with the American Government and oil companies. Soon their videos will have bubblebutted ladies hippityhopping up and down in the oilfields of the Middle East or drive-by siphoning.

“Yo, some bitch jus empied ma oil-tank.”

I asked my good friend Ballantine Baines what he thought about all this, forcing him into a rage slapping me and calling me a racist for only asking him rapper questions because he is black. I ensured him this was not true, that he was not black at all. This caused another argument, which you need not know anything about.  Nobody won, well the drinkies solved evryting.

So please, please richrappermen listen to the cool sounds of Roots and Anti-Pop Consortium, Beans and the dub sounds, ska, reggae and all the original rappers who made you want this music in the first place.


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