Stretch Stretch

I am doing the Official Asian Dub Foundation physical workout right now! Ooooh Ahhhhh Ohhhh oaaa

HOW TO: YOU STUPID FOOL

First what you do is drink about 4 or 5 pints of bilious beer.

Second, arrive at yer gym/sex club/church/crime-scene/auntie’s tomb and prepare

Thirdly, Steal whatever ridiculous tinny shite they try to make you dance to. remove the cd/mp3 (harder to do) and throw out the window.

If there is no window, then ADF will happily supply a temporary angry hole in a wall for said throwage

Next, put on the ADF (sample below) workout tape and after that drink some type of tequila drink until you are not quite ready to get sick, take off your top.

If you have no top, peel off something, even skin, that’s right, skin.

THEN: and all you can really do then is move on one foot, move on the other and alternate incessantly until an unassisted euphoric feeling starts to wash over your jaded body. All of a sudden you will feel a sense of well being that your miserable body, fed on a diet of chips and heinousness will jump up and down to.

MORE: Bouncy, bounce bounce.

EPILOGUE: ysee, there’s no substitute.  Years of abusing myself in oh so many ways and I’m dancing my ass off to this stuff and guess what there’s fuckloads of it….its kept me fit throughout many episodes of bulbousnesssssss. People always wonder how I look so good, well it isn’t the gas therapy or the dental dams.

This video’s from Paris, which is where I import my arrogance from, and my smelly cheeses and my GIGI (or as I like to call her, BITCH) memorabilia. Anyway, just a thought.

Now, badadadah, badadah……..