Lou Holds Up Traffic

(Light goes green)

Beep beep

Beep beep

I’m waitin for my GREEEN. It is green. I’m going to put the car into first gearah. Yes, like when I recorded my first single when I was 16, and Al Jolson played on it, well, he wasn’t there but he played on it. Oh yeah.

(Light goes red)

I apply the brakes.  showdywowdy yeah, I like the rockabilly. Some man knocking on my door. The man is a knockin on mah door. Wild. He seems to think I’m MoTucker. No man, I’m Lou Reed the singer. She was pucussion.

(Light goes green)

Here we go, this reminds me of when John Cale came over and I told him that I wasn’t from Long Island, I was from Brooklyn. He says, “No Lou, you are from Long Island.” I say, “The only Long Island in me, is this very tasty Tea.” He had left before I finished though.

(Light goes red)

Hey man, she was the drummah man. Shit, these cats just don’t get it.I think I’ll tune in the radio and listen to some good sounds. Oh yeah. Fuckin Nico man, shut up bitch. I’ll be your mirror man, shut up, I’m ma fuckin mirror man.

(Light goes green)

Why is everyone so angry, oh here we go, time to pull off. That reminds me of that funny little man with the white hair, what was his name, arty guy? Nico knew him. (Elvis Costello in the back seat) “Was it Santa, Lou?” That’s the guy, man he was radical. Wonder where that guy got to? Man this traffic is bad.

(Light goes red)

Hey man, you don’t pull Lou Reed out of a moving car. That is UnCool, and hey man, I am not MoTucker, stop saying that man. She would not like that. Ow. Ow. I’m just an ol man, which reminds me, we never played the blues licks, OW, because, OW, we weren’t from there. OW. Out of respect. OW. Lou passing out, Lou lips hurt, Lou cheek hurt, Lou rhythm guitar mind hurt. Elvis, help Elvis, help. Where did Elvis go? Elvis?

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