Stretch those facial muscles Now…..
Oh yeah, waking up and frightening yer pardner in crime coz half your face just stopped is funny? Yeah?
Going to work and sitting in the corner and having your boss all pally-wally while you, unnoticed, dribble out the left side of your face? Funny, is it?
Going to see the Fall, drinking in a pub. While listening to a c0nversation, the person opposite you notices your Smithwicks has fallen out of your mouth on to the girl behind’s coat. Funny yeah, is it fucker?
Going to intensive physiotherapy, where the physio massages your face with who knows what kind of cream and makes you massage your face, while in traffic, with all the other drivers laughing? Funny, is it? Yi prick
Eventually, gaining muscle control back and finding something else to worry about…telling friends “haha, I can laugh about it now.”
Well can I?
Can Stevie Benton, bassist for Texas rock band, Drowning Pool; Pierce Brosnan, Irish actor and producer; Jennifer Carpenter, American film actress, best known for her roles in The Exorcism of Emily Rose, and Dexter; Jean Chrétien, former prime minister of Canada; George Clooney, American actor, director, producer and screenwriter; Alexis Denisof, American actor.
Frenchie Dy, Filipina singer, winner of Star in a Million Season 2; Graeme Garden, British comedy writer and performer, who has written about his experiences with the condition; Allen Ginsberg, American beat poet; Tony Gonzalez, American NFL football player; Amy Goodman, American journalist and author; Jane Greer, American actress, had the condition at age 15, may have contributed to her reportedly “quizzical gaze” and “enigmatic expression”; Trenton Hassell, American basketball player for the New Jersey Nets of the NBA; Terrence Howard, American actor; Ralph Kiner, American baseball player in the 1940s and 1950s; Curtis LeMay, United States Air Force general and vice presidential running mate of independent candidate George C. Wallace; Gordon Lightfoot, Canadian singer; Martin Love, Australian cricketer; Joe Mantegna, American actor, “the charm of his face is heightened by just a trace of lopsidedness, the result of Bell’s palsy”; Ralph Nader, American author, activist, politician; Jim Ross, professional wrestling announcer for the WWE; Rick Savage, British musician and bassist for Def Leppard; Ayrton Senna, Brazilian Formula One racecar driver; Jamey Sheridan, American actor whose condition was written into the show Law and Order: Criminal Intent; Chris Walker, British superbike racer; Joseph C. Wilson, American diplomat in 1968 or Stretch fucking Macgibbon laugh about it now!
Like fuck they can. Fuck you Bell!