That’s right Stretch, somebody won Xfactor after 400 weeks of competition. Congratulations to that guy. Kudos offered. I don’t know you, but who am I to piss on your parade? Kudos
We are all very happy for you. Everyone says so.
Damien Dempsey says “awwwww, well done brother, well done bud. Did I ever tell you I had a hard thoime growin up in the darkness that was me yute? Well did I? Dyawanna box?”
Glen Hansard says “Good on you fellow singer-songwriter genius. What her? I thought she was over 18, honest! didn’t even get a lap-dance. Feckin paid for a lap dance. That’s why we broke up, no matter what SHE says”
Phil Coulter says, “droooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeee plink plink gas drooooneeee”
Bono says, “Fucking bitch, I can’t believe she did that to me! Hey yeah, well done the guy, yeah. Where’s me greasy palms? Rub one off and bedtime for Bono”
Seamus Heaney says, “Play doh wah-wah, smack-me-munki, smack-me-munki. XfaCtaah. XfaCtaah XfaCtaah. I go fuck XfaCtaah in the ass, even if she no lass. Me poet, you, fuck you! Wah”
Glenda Gilson stood there, looked lost and then fell into traffic.
Not sure any of them actually saw it but hey, fuck it, either did I, but the dude that won it is going to be very happy so there is no reason for me to be cynical and force razor blades of sarcasm that guy’s way. No reason at all.
And that’s all I’d like to say. Millions of people couldn’t be wrong. Well, except in Nazi Germany. They got it wrong, but they didn’t have Xfactor. And if they did, they would have voted the most talented person as Fuhrer. Easy peasy.
So just as Mary Jo Kopechne shouted out the window to the glorified Ted Kennedy in Chappaquddick
the drummer is like THE manic gerbil, make me laugh, not out loud, but quietly…shhh