lost in music: Prolapse

I remember the Christmas I got Prolapse’s The Italian Flag. Our family were doing that Kris Kindle thingy and my Mam had me. So there I am opening my pressies and Mama Stretch goes,

“Oh you’ll like this one.”

I ripped the paper open and there it was, The Italian Flag.

“Oh Mama Stretch, you shouldn’t have!”

She sat there with that knowing smile. She had just made little Stretch happy and it made her proud. Needless to say, she hadn’t a fucking clue what she had just bought me, nor where you would go about finding something like that, but the little white lie was worth it. Although, through my munkihood, she had been forced to listen to everything from Napalm Death to Nine Inch Nails to Ninety-fucking-nine Red

The horror i went through finding this picture

Balloons, so she had a better knowledge than most.

Anyway, Prolapse were from Leicester in Britainland, and started life in an attempt to make the most depressing music ever made. This was futile as they had forgotten about Pepsi and Shirley. One of the best Brittaille bands to come out of the nineties and pretty much unknown to this day. They did get one or two vids on MTV, but that was during the Alternative Nation days, when most of middle-Europe was controlled by Thurston Moore and the Orcs.

I first came across them when listening to the excellent Dubalin pirate station XFM. The dreaded Phantom Wanker FM took over as the “alternative” shlock for the masses, but Xfm was the real alternative. Their DJs really knew what worked with what back then, so Prolapse would fit in nicely in a playlist of Truman’s Water, the Idiots (another lost band) and even Bosshog. The first Prolapse song I heard was the bruising “Tina This is Matthew Stone,” from Pointless Walks to Dismal Places, a row in musical form between singers Linda and Scottish Mick. A thing of beauty.

Here are some reasons why they should be forced to return.

Oh, before that, I propose a ban on the expression “One More Tune” being shouted at gigs. It’s the use of the word “tunes.” It’s so very very, isn’t it?

“Hey dude, you wanna listen to some tunes?”

You’ve all had that one, yeah? Tune, it’s a fucking song, for fuck’s sake.

“One more tune! One more tune! One more tune!”

Next time you are at a gig, tell me it doesn’t sound slow and retarded. I’m ol’ school. I prefer a congenial smattering of applause and a gentle call of “more, more” or even “encore maestro.” That’s not pretentious now, is it?

6 thoughts on “lost in music: Prolapse

  1. In almost all circumstances, introducing prolapse into you life would be a bad thing and will probably eventually require medical intervention. In this case, however, it is strongly recommended.

    Like all good things, Prolapse is not for everyone, I suppose, but those in the anti-Prolapse camp have, in fact, shit for brains. Ask yourself this: would you rather have Prolapse or shit for brains? Pretty simple when its spelled out in black and white, ha ha.

    As someone posted on YouTube “why would u name ur band that?? fucking disgusting.” See what I mean? Shitforbrains.

  2. In a blatant attempt to chalk up more replies for Stretch on this most important of topics, I would would like to point out that “Doorstop Rhythmic Bloc” is beyond doubt the greatest song played in my office today. Twice.

  3. I agree with you Stretch on the “one more tune brigade.” I’m waiting for the day when some trendy, next-greatest-thing band decides to play a traditional tune as a encore; a couple of bars of “The Lark in the Morning” would knock the smug look off the faces of these angular-haired nownothings. Here’s a hint: If its got words in it and a person sings those words, its a song.

    There’s only one thing more annoying than people shouting for one more tune and that’s if they spell it “choon.” Of course, if they’re shouting it out, its hard to tell how they prefer to spell it. You can normally tell from the look of them, though.

    • i was tingling with excitement thinking you was the real Mick Derrick. Ah well. That’s life, you want Prolapse, yi get the opposite!

    • wow, if that really was Linda Steelyard, there would just be one really intense tingle and then a lie down

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