Whack-a-Paddy-to-Deathery: Uimhir a cUiG: Rollerskate Skinny


Just spent the evening watching people falling off various types of roof. Good for the soul.

Rrrrrrolller-up. There are no vids of these guys to be found so someone put up a place mat as a visual for the song. I was fully expecting a plate with potatoes, turnips and a slab of lovely roast beef to appear. I waited, but nothing happened. Since we are that time of year again when the little people of Irlanda beat each other up in a drunken haze and then go home and beat on the wife, it seems fitting to resume my fairly exhaustible list of Irlanda brightest and best moosic.

As a younger Stretch, sozzled in a lifestyle of alcohol and soft/hard/mejium core druggaí, I held down a job as a distributor of post for a small and deranged insurance company. It meant long hours walking around Dubalin town delivering apparently important envelopes to greedy Insurers with fat cat grins and the means of production at their disposal. My travels were still sunny and wonderful in this terrain, with

Children or Bastards? Bastards!

dancing snow fluttering around me; the smell of my many cigarettes wafting about; small children chasing me, scaring me, cornering me; old men tipping their hats as if somewhere in their pasts they felt that freedom that I was experiencing; old women looking for their old mens’ hats; junkies slowly approaching me for change but never quite managing to catch up; shit, if only I had a bike, I could have escaped those deranged children.

So, as a soundtrack to this jaunty life, I had many musical moments. It was on these little trips that I first discovered the joys of the Chemical Brothers’ first album, Exit Planet Dust, Aphex Twin’s Donkey Rhubarb, David Holmes’s amazing first and best album, This film’s crap, let’s slash the seats, Nitzer Ebb’s Ebbhead, Type O Negative’s October Rust and more and more and more and more and more. The Greatest Walking Music Album in the World Ever, if you like. Oh yeah, and Dubalin’s own Rollerskate Skinny’s Horsedrawn Wishes. An album that accentuated the whole Dubalin thing so well. Like a cross between Edith Piaf, Maurice Chevalier and My Bloody Valentine, the songs were both dramatic, thoughtful and full of layered harmonics. It was the kitty indeed! THE KITTY! THE KITTY!

Here’s some examples of what I’m talking about, kinda.

and here’s what happened when Nitzer Ebb entered that Irish stage of the Tour de France a few years back. I’m not sure whether this is homoerotic or a good way to catch yourself a cold. I felt dirty after watching it though. Then again, I’m a bad little munki. The Industrial music video is on my mind a lot these days.

5 thoughts on “Whack-a-Paddy-to-Deathery: Uimhir a cUiG: Rollerskate Skinny

  1. 31 seconds of “Speed to my Side”? 31 fucking seconds! Are you kidding me? You’re the worst kind of tease, Stretch. Its unfair, immoral, and probably illegal.

  2. Semi-naked German industrialists (not the type of industrialist in charge of Mercedes Benz, BMW or Siemens (fnar fnar) cavorting in the rain? Definitely, without doubt homoerotic.

  3. I’m not sure it is homoerotic, the vid is of its time, mid 1990s. Everyone was wearing cycling shorts, Axl Rose, EMF, the Pope. Btw, welcome back Baines, I see the police have lifted our intenet ban. Oh and Nitzer Ebb are from that most German of places, Essex.

  4. Glad to be back. I told them they won’t be taking me alive the next time.

    There’s the other reason the Internet was invented: looking shit up before you embarrass yourself through ignorance. Nitzer Ebb from Essex, well of course they are?

    They’d still have been German if the right side had won, though.

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