…driving home from that thing called work tonight I gotta bad feeling… It was weird, like an unexpected punch in the stomach from a normally passive nun and while veering towards a truck I figured it out… and I said to myself,
Now I’m home furiously scratching the television screen with my sharpened fingernails in the hope that I can cause facial damage to at least one member of Bonjovi. Multi-millionaire borefest Jon Bonjovi is moaning about all the shit he has to put up with. Shut the fuck up! Maybe I should just change the channel, but seriously if it wasn’t for the fact that my skin scrawls every time I see or hear him, then I could happily take his place as the leader of Bonjovi. Stretch Bonjovi! I like it. I might even make some changes. How bout firing the anxiety munki that is Sambora (moaning on his yacht) and replacing him with Slash. Demon-ridden (their words) Tico Torres could be replaced by John Stanier. Cool! That weird keyboard guy could be replaced by a pre-programmed Casio. Nice! Maybe we might drop the Bonjovi songs part of our show, yeah, cool! 80,000 people watching a gibbon and various stars fly through covers of Circle Jerks tunes. Pleasant! Oh gawd this documentary is getting unintentionally funny. Richie Sambora has just said that his kids wouldn’t come to the show coz they wanted to go to see the Jonas Brothers show. A whole family with shit music taste. How odd? Gotta get the rum chasing! He’s just dissed the Beatles AND the Stones. The prick.
Why are all music documentaries shot in black and white?
Back to my foreboding. Here’s my favourite Violent Femmes song which helps when you know things are y’know falling apart. Fuck!
Jesus, these people are morons!