Broken news… Throbbing Williams Kings Lemmy…

ees it

Throbbing Gristle frontman/woman Genesis P-Orridge has left the band to join the cast of  Coronation Street. He will work behind the bar of the Rovers Return and rattle stuff annoyingly and then launch into numerous soliloquies. Meanwhile back at Throbbing Gristle towers, interviews for a new singer continue, although keep breaking down at the last moment when the strange-looking surgeon walks in  with two bags of Demerara Caster Sugar, an empty pig stomach and half a pint of lukewarm water.

Are you one of those people who when hearing that Take That are playing in Dubalin Towin, will go “Yeah? who fucking cares”? Are you one of those people who when hearing that Robbie Williams is playing in Dubalin Towin, will go “Yeah? who fucking cares”? Well, not to ruin the moment for you or anything, but don’t be surprised at your reaction when you find out that Robbie Williams will be necking anti-depressants and performing  with Take That soon in auld Dubalin town.

Richard D. James has six albums on the go at the moment. He hasn’t released anything under the Aphex twin moniker since 2001. Let’s hope he doesn’t leave the lot on the plane this time.

The annual hill walking exercise that is Slane is to continue with that guy who sounds like he just shot his best friend, Ezekiel the

ICE!

racoon, crooning on with his brothers and that weird cousin guy. They will follow every anthemic song with yet another anthemic song and then to quiet things down, they will do the odd anthem, with an encore of “Sex on Fire” and its follow-up “Masturbation On ice.”

Motorhead are busy, oh yes they are. Lemmy Kilmeister is doing adverts, he is. Check out the ad for Kronenbourg, which is a very nice beer, especially their Premier Crus. Hang on, I’m doing an ad for them. Where’s my reCOMpense? Also, the band plan to release a new album of songs that will not sound anything like they’ve ever done before, but suspiciously similar.

This mlog took three days to complete. (For stats nerds only)

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