“I poured the contents of the packet on to the frying mince and added some water and stirred it with my wooden spoon and added some dry mushrooms and some red wine and had a glass myself and then I made some linguini and put it in a strainer and added some butter and swished it around with my spoon…swish…swish…and I found a plate and put the linguini on the plate and then poured the contents of the pot on to the linguini and sipped some red wine and turned on the television and got a fork and rolled some linguini with meat sauce on to the fork and put it in my mouth and chewed and then…

…fell to the floor clutching my neck and my face went red and my eyeballs felt like bursting and sweating and veins bulging and then with my last breath, I whispered, “I have been poisoned.”