Return of the Lotus eater

Things I have found out this week:

1. Work is overrated and long and causes neck pain and back problems that will lead to ol Stretch packing an Uzi with his lunch one of these days. (Probably Thursday)

2. Kate Middleton is as ubiquitous as the insignia for Coca Cola and Heineken, yet tastes rotten in comparison

3. “Livin on a Prayer” chorus makes no sense. Change ‘prayer’ to ‘housing estate’ and the song becomes tangible.

4. I get cravings for the title track of ‘The Fog,” so I had to buy the album, now I need the Dvd. Stupah

6. I have no desire for the new Apple iPhone, happy with what I have. Does this make me a dirty red?

7. Kitchens of Distinction are planning a new album. Fuck sake, are there any new bands? New Fast Automatic Daffodils at least have the decency to stay dead.

8. Mitt Romney is a perfect example of a potential US president, who by getting all his gaffes in early, can manipulate the short term memory of the voters who will think he is kind and someone whose knee they would like to sit on. They will end up on the roof rack.

9. The new Dallas makes the old Dallas look like the Wire.

10. Broadsheet is funny, the commenters on Broadsheet are not.

Until next time, watch out for the fog, you may see Jamie Lee Curtis.

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