Variousity: Ballbags remain ballbags in Irlanda: No one says sorry, no no one

Boiler room session from Various production. Boiler room is well worth a visit. Hundreds of sessions from all the good, great and onlyalrigh electronic performiks. Not to be confused with a certain sauna where a body could have their ass slapped by large hairy…. that wouldn’t fit in your itunes

the ecstacy of mould

slowly…slowly does it. cogs twisting, clocks whirring, vein’s pumping blood at a rapid pace. Cher’s knocking at my door screaming about having her

God help us all!

voice modulator..NOW. I hide under the covers praying she wont get in. From my muted surroundings I hear a low scratching sound. Nails on wood. Terrified. I jump out of the bed and try to hide the box. Splinters are being ripped from the architrave, one by one as the beast tries to gain entry. I can’t find where to dump this fucking box. I hear her gurgling and spitting and the true horror of what is to come dawns on me. I need an out. I need to make the choice. The box is indestructible. She is bent on getting it. I am the pawn in this unholy game. I look around to find something to bring finality. There is nothing.

It goes silent. The scratching has stopped. A vacuum is created. I can’t breathe. There comes whispering,

“And I can’t break through”

Cold sweat rolls down my back forcing me to shiver…

“So sad that you’re leaving”

I feel it coming, it’s coming. Oh god, it’s coming…

“You are going to be the lonely one.” hissssss

The door explodes from its frame. I am up against the wall, eyes wide with terror. Dry ice flows through the door (Where did that even come from?). I see a dark shadow revealing itself to me as a nine-foot tall creature with a leather jacket and a, oh god, leather thong. In a split second she is on me. Dry-humping me as I lie paralysed on the floor, her scaly cold hands around my neck. I feel relief that my end has come. Her frizzy hair falls over my face, blacking out the world. She easily removes the box from my hand. I lose control as she rips a hole in her neck, then jams the box into the ghastly orifice…Her enormous mouth opens into a terrifying hollywood grin and the room begins to shake. MY head starts to feel heavy. I can feel the blood rushing through my temples at a rapid rate….The intensity of the pulses means it is coming….As my head starts to split, blood running down my cheeks, she opens her mouth and with full modulation on, shrill tones mingle with my silent screams….Here it comes, eyes ready to pop, skin separating from face…aaaaahhaaaaarghhhhhhh

“Do you believe in life after love
I can feel something inside me say
I really don’t think you’re strong enough,

Autechre vs Various Production: things and weirdness

Autechre have just announced when their new album Oversteps is out…Anyone interested click here

Anyway, I was listening to Various Production and realised I had never seen the video for “Hater.” So I did watch it and guess what? It only reminded me of another video, that’s right, by Autechre. It did.

Yeah, so here ya go!! and enjoy the rest of your night, yeah! Happy! Yeah!



Allo again..

Here are more reasons to avoid mainstream music. May not be for everybody but neither are lotsofthings….like looting and XFactor and drinking Southern Comfort.

6. Various Production – Maskmen

7. Thom Yorke – Skip Divided (Modeselektor mix)

8. Various Production – Wot U Say

9. The Raveonettes – Aly, Walk with me

10. Roots Manuva – Again and Again

This Various Productions song is really infectious. At first, I thought it was a bit y’know, but then I realised it was supremely oh yeah I see. Watch them live on the net. They all dance funny. Also, go to their website where there’s an hour long mix absolutely free.

I was driving home from work one night and this came on. I liked “Eraser” to a certain extent, but the “Skip Divided” remix by Berlin electronic producers Modeselektor (Check out Hello Mom) explores the darkest depths of the original and added a fairly scary soundtrack to my lonely drive home. There’s someone in the back seat, aaargh. They think they can drive better than me!

Okay, another from Various Production. There something a bit Kate Nash or Lily Allen about this, but only if those hags had been brought to a singing coach and given 1000ccs of rhythm, while being injected with the knowledge of the gypsy. Gypsys are such fun,really they are.

I was introduced to the Raveonettes only a few weeks ago and this song has been going round my head ever since. Like a combination of the Velvet Underground and the Jesus and Mary Chain, this Danish band are worth their weight in bacon. Speaking of JAMC, was 2008 the year when Glas Vegas conned the planet? Starting out as a talent show on an Irish language TV station, they quickly ripped off the JAMC sound and their prick of a singer walked around as if he was the first person ever to wear shades. How up yourself can you get? Alternative music is really starting to feel wallpapery.

Roots Manuva has been probably the best hip hop to come out of Britain in a long time. This opener to his latest album Slime and Reason is a mish-mash of styles, hip hop; reggae; calypso; early 1980s test match cricket… A nice Summery sound to warm me up on this cold, cold day.

So that’s pretty much the extent of it. Feel free to disagree, but I guarantee there is at least one song there that someone will like.