shit and more shit

Squishy…shit…more shit…then shit all over the place.

Parenting is nothing more than developing a tolerance for shit

The sexiest woman in this crop... made to make your mouth water... She say "Rrrroowchh"

Otherwheres, Stretch has developed a monstrous crush on Joan Burton. I try to imagine having the sex with her, but it always ends up in a violent beating, for me. She so hot, she makes Stretch nipples erect, but then she beat me and me go all floppy nipples. When she draw my bath, first the shampoo, then the waterboarding. She like, me gurgle… At her most lusty she scream “take that Vincent,” at me until I relent! and purse my lips

A political powerhouse, a powerful house of politics, a wagon of working class socialism, a purveyor of passionpolitics, a reason to lock your doors at night… a gaggle of gombeenism… a cradle of filth… a hairdo of hell… a mouth of fishwives… always dressed in red…always dyed red.. as righteous as Rasputin… ahh ahhh ahhhhhh leave me alone Joan. The bruises just wont go away…

What to do? What would you do?

Breaking England.This is bad.


Stretch yer head

Just watched half an episode of Breaking Bad, then the last harrowing episode of This is England 86, and then the rest of Breaking Bad. A lot of people got hit on the head. I’m afraid to turn on Vincent Browne.

Here’s what I was listening to in 1986. I was 11, wearing a cut off Anthrax t-shirt, a pair of black football socks over black jeans and a gleaming pair of red and white runner boots (not far off from my current dress sense), short hair but long down the back. I met Mark Lawrenson at a soccer camp and realised the guy was a complete prick. I wore a Northern Ireland jersey and no one cared. That was mad when I look back on it. Ol Papa Stretch, just back from Saudi took one look at my Megadeth t-shirt, then the lyrics of Peace Sells…but who’s buying and thought I was some kind of Satanist, probably coz I wasn’t listening to Jazz. We had a huge fight which ironically brought us closer together, right after I hit my head off the toilet. We laughed. I had just started smoking and was really believing my own bullshit. I was a state, but received acceptance amongst the biker set for a minute or two…til they all died. It seemed so fucking simple then. Peoples like Fred Durst didn’t exist. The threat of nuclear annihilation was always there as was the threat of local annihilation. Happy days all the same.. What do kids rebel against these days? I’m curious. What’s the alternative?

Maiden doing not so live

and here’s that special goal. Different class Jimmy!

15 minutes to do the weekly shop? I don’t think so littul munki

An Nuacht an lae/lá/whatever:

I’m a littul munki, but it doesn’t stop me from being a large asshole.

Chill Vincey. Vincey!

Other splashes

Just watched Vincent Browne get increasingly more enraged at various politicians. Best show on TV. He was starting to look like a a glued up Lloyd Bridges in the Airplane movies. Hilarious stuff.

“Answer my questions Mary Lou. What are these figures? What studies? WHAT?”

Jamie Oliver has inspired me. Tomorrow, I am going to go out and find a really skinny kid. Then I’m going to force feed the littul dude like a duck until he’s hugely obese. Then I’m going to grab the child by the shoulders, start sobbing and scream into his face,

“This can’t go on!! Things have to change!”

An update on my JoJingles mlog. Stretch did have a great time, despite the depraved and weird ending. Just some observations. Won’t do it again.

My first Stretchcast (exercise in believing people really want such a thing) will be up at the end of the week. I love Soundcloud and want to mate with it. A nice mix of music to show you who I really is. Downloadable methinks to. Not sure. Read instructions munki!

Something just won’t leave my head, despite time and absence. Stoopid munki…

What exactly am I supposed to do with that?

Kylie’s at home, and she’s having a shit, reading the sports section and making wahwahwah noises. Does she find it disconcerting that a bunch of buffed up, pec-loaded male dancers are trying to lift the entire porcelain chair up over their head in adoration or is she just usedta uncomfortable seating arrangements? Well?

Got a lot of hits which seemed to have come from Amanda Brunker’s website. It’s a very funny site. I laughed my big pink ass off. Seriously her blogs make this website seem lo-tech and redundant and not pink. Got me thinkin about how many of these Irlanda media-laydees, due to their exposure, give their entire gender a shit name. It’s very odd, especially considering there are so many male-mans out there who don’t know what an Emmeline Pankhurst is for. I don’t know if Brunker is an example of postmodernism, but she and so many of her contemporaries are kinda pissing on the graves of the brave and erudite women who fought for women’s rights and equality, ruining their own lives in the process. But wait, that’s not fair. Brunker typed out the whole of Champagne and Kisses with her own Asian maid’s fingers.

Then again, Stretch lives in Irlanda where Ryan Tubridy and Brendan O’Connor are examples of men.

And Kevin fucking Bacon thought he had problems because he wasn’t allowed to DANCE? Jesus